The first time she beheld Sin, she had stood very still. Her toes sunk into the cold mud, and the terror loomed over her. The distance between them didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, except the water lapping over her feet and Sin’s eye. His gaze was fixed on her. Even the light of the sun held no power in this darkest of nightmares.

As the waves washed at her toes, she felt the sand melt underfoot. She smiled at Yuna, so at ease over the tide, even as the fear fluttered in her chest. Sin was gone, but she could never forget.

"It’s great!" Rikku called. She wasn’t the only one in the water, either, but...

There was a wall there, between her and her friends. Pulling it down wasn’t going to be easy; the water forced it up again. It was layer upon layer of debris, or the lagoon sandbar. The farther she went, the more it piled up.

The tide was up to her knees when it happened. Yuna was walking back towards the shore with Tidus wading along beside her. Wakka floated deftly in on the same wave, and gave her a friendly pat on the back and a word of encouragement when he pulled himself out of the water. She stumbled forward, landing on her hands and knees. The surf battered her senses, and she panicked, trembling with rage and fear.

"Bastard," she spat, swashed in indignity. Ignoring the blitzer’s outstretched hand and sputtered apologies, she scrambled, out of the water and ran.

She didn’t look back; the sea wasn’t for her.

"Hey Paine!"

"We’re going down to the beach again today, you want to come?"

"No," she said, a little too forcefully. "No. You go ahead, I want to check out the temple."

"Are you alright?"

The black mage was one to see what the others didn’t, but she kept her distance with a respect for privacy. Paine nodded, "Yeah," and that was all it took to be left alone.

Besaid was beautiful, but it was an island. As inland as she could go, and the sea was still an important part of life. She didn’t want to think about it anymore, but it kept coming back with the tide. Sin’s eye haunted her now, not out of the depths of memory in some half-forgotten dream, but in the waking world as she went about her daily life.

She would never be free.

Wakka found her outside the tent. Polishing her sword in the pale moonlight, she watched his reflection, wary. He had apologized once already, and left it at that, as if that were all it took. But he was strange, now; he crouched beside her, all quiet, and watched her work.

"You still hurting, huh?" He caught her reflection’s eye, and she scowled. Dropping the sword, she shuffled about to face the tent wall. Huddled in the dark, she clutched the rag and hoped the man would take the hint and get lost.

"That bad?" He sighed, and she felt the weight of his hand on her shoulder, "Y’know-"

"No," she said. He didn’t budge. "It’s nothing, really. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t mean anything, just... leave me alone."

Silence. Trapped under Sin’s gaze, with no way out.

"Come on," Wakka plied, and when she didn’t, he picked her up, holding on until she struggled on her own two feet. He smiled gently, and held out his hand. When she didn’t take it, he took hers instead, almost tenderly, "Please?"

The beach was bathed in the soft silvers of midnight, and the cliffside loomed protective over the shallow cove. Wakka left her, exposed on the shore, when she refused to budge. He stood up to his ankles in the surf, and waited.

What surprised her was that she waited, too. At last she lost her nerve, and asked, "What?"

"I figured you might like a chance to get me back," he called back, in jest.

"Get back? At you?" She paced along the shore, seething. Where she kicked the sand it bled dark, thick ochre.

"That’s not it. That’s not it at all, don’t you understand?" Her voice rose, above the surf and above the ringing in her ears. The pain had become something deeper, a part of who she was, even as she ignored it and sought to push it down and pretend it never happened. "It hurts!"

"Yeah," he agreed. "It does."

He stood in the surf, arms across his chest and waiting. Quiet, confident, he was a part of the sea, like the beach and the trees and the night sky. Part of Spira, with the part of her that Sin had stolen from her so long ago.

She was shaking hard. Solid, controlled steps dissolved to a run. She lunged at the blitzer, and together they tumbled into the surf. All the rage and hate, tears mingled with the tide, and Wakka was laughing.

"Something of a draw, that. Try again?"

She managed to keep her balance this time. Wakka floated on the waves, she realized; the water washed against her waist and her breath quickened. The shore seemed so far away...

"Hey!" Wakka’s voice cut through, and he smiled at her. "Trust me."

This time, she did take his hand. The sand vanished beneath her feet, and she held on tight. That she didn’t know how to move didn’t bother him, he only smiled and laughed and encouraged. She realized what she was doing when he said, See? You’re doing it! And when she panicked at that, he taught her how to swim back to where her toes could sink into the sand.

They crawled out of the water and sat on the beach for a while. She felt chilled by the night breeze, and warmed by Wakka’s presence, but when he caught her staring he ruffled her hair and flicked the water off his fingers.

It had helped. Maybe. A little. She wasn’t sure. But he had married Lulu. Maybe he was more perceptive than she thought.

She watched the beach, quiet and alone. Sin was still there, but as she pushed him he fled back into the dark corners of her mind. She still shivered, but she managed, of her own will, to stalk towards the water and run, plowing into the surf until she felt the sand at the tips of her toes.

She stood there, thinking. Wakka appeared, as she feared he would, and whispered, "I wanna show you something."

He floated outward a bit, and she hesitated in following. He didn’t help her as much this time, but he was there in case she floundered and that was enough.

"Deep breath," he instructed, and she feared so suddenly.

"What?"

"No, no. Breath," he chuckled, and waited patiently as she calmed down, "Good, now: Deep breath."

"What are you two doing?" she heard Rikku ask, and she couldn’t answer the girl’s suspicion. Wakka dragged her under, and she was surprised at her own buoyant weightlessness.

It was wonderful, in a sense, and almost like... It was home.

It was underwater, and she panicked for her breath. The water broke away, and she gasped for air. Wakka was laughing, and she had to smile, despite herself.

"That was good. Real good... But next time, open your eyes, huh?"